Lab Richard Bandler — Magical Structures

… not a therapy group, it’s a training session. If you want to go to therapy, well, we can recommend some therapists who are very reliable. Some of their clients have seen them for 20 or 30 years. Yeah, I was just pointing out to John that for the very first time, I noticed that when you were on your break chattering, you were all
chattering in the same rhythm. Because up until today, and it, and it, because it hurts my ears, it was so off it created an weird echo in the room. When you would talk during exercises or during breaks, and for the first time, you guys are starting to open up your ears enough and respond to your environment, that, you know, you were all talking in this little rhythm together. It’s kind of a Latin thing you had going. Except for one of you, and you know who you are. Something I did years ago in a group just I was in an odd mode and, as I like to tell people, as far as I know, every human being in this room, is capable, of making changes to make their lives absolutely wonderful and can have any choice, they want and even more importantly, choices that you’ve never even thought about, that are more worth wanting. Except for one of you and you know who you are, will you please stand up? AND, 15 people in the room stood up. Including one of the trainers, that was working with me. Then. You guys do watch and listen don’t you? The outside is really cool, you should try it sometime. OK, somebody actually made me really laugh last night, I had to admit. It wasn’t in this group, but.

There was a couple fighting, I went out last night cause I wanted some cereal. So I went to the little store across the street here, and I went in the little store and I got a box of cereals, and a cord of milk, and I walked out and I, was walking back to the hotel and as I stepped out and across the street, there was a couple, and I guess, you know, they’d had a couple of drinks, but boy were they into it fighting with another. And I mean, you know, it’s bad enough that people fight with each other but to do it in public, excuse me. Well, this just shows me that not only do they have no self-respect, right, they want everyone to know it. Ah, but, this this woman boy, I wanna tell you, she was cruel but she was funny. And ah, cause this guy was, this guy was really trying to put her down, and he said, he was going “Well, you know” he said, “of course I look at other omen” he said, “you’ve let yourself go, you nothing but a fat pig”, right? And she looked at him and she said, “Nonononono, that’s the boys you went out with last night.” And he spun around and you could see smoke coming out his ears and he goes “What are you trying to say?” and she said “Well,” she said “when it comes to love, I’m sure somebody’s earing Suuuuue”. And he was very upset, he said, he said, “Look” you know he says “I’m no queer” and she said “Well, even they have standards.” Ewww. And then I laughed and he turned around and he looked at me and he goes “What’s the matter with you, faggot?” and SHE started laughing. And I said, I said “Nothing Sir,” I said I said “I’m sorry but I wasn’t really looking at you” I said “I was looking at your husband here.”… He didn’t even get it, he went “Huh? What?” And I said “Hold that thought, hold that thought, make that picture bigger bigger bigger, now, excuse me” and I walked right by them. And they’re probably still standing out there. Cause I don’t know what it is about people when they have a few drinks they think it’s time to go fight. I don’t think drinking and fighting are really a good idea, cause I used to do it and you get hurt. Right, you know, you know, if you’re gonna get in a fight you wanna be very alert and you want them to be very fucked up. Uh, you know, I’ve discovered through the years all kinds of things that you can do that are… a lot better. Robert Dilts and I one time had met and I met him in a little bar around the corner from my house, and nobody ever went in there. Usually the place the firemen and off duty policemen hung out, and stuff, but. Actually attached to the fire station in SEL KELV when I lived there… And… Robert met me there, cause Robert’s wife didn’t let me over their house. She thought I was a bad influence, cause you know he’s a catholic, and, and, and I, you know, me, it’s like I always go in and talk to the statues in their house and stuff. And they answer. I go “Ey, Virgin Mary, hehehe, they bought that one, didn’t they?” Uh, “Yeah, that’s right, there’s a big angel but no genitals” Uh, because arch, you know, did you read that thing, archangels have no genitals? Oh, it was on TV last night, you know, there’s a guy, I don’t care where you are in the United States, if they have cable, and you go around, and there is nothing but info commercials on. One station will have this one minister guy, from this chapel in, you know, somewhere in Georgia or something, I don’t know. And he’s always there, he’s always got a bible, it’s always open to the exact same page. Has been for years now. The Sheppard’s chapel, you know who I’m talking about?… And he’s the one who always, he’s so great cause he goes “Well.” he goes “and what this really means is is that, well, that God is not gonna put up with any of that kinda shit.” You know, uh. He’s a very strange guy, he, he has reinterpreted the bible in ways that I find to be high comedy. And if you’re really bored, watch it, because who’s ever doing the stage work there, is obviously not on this guy’s side. It’s the one recently that just pulled a gun on somebody in the chapel. Somebody come in, was harassing him, somebody from another religion. He sits on court TV. I saw it this afternoon, it’s not much to do in this  own.

Uh, well, usually I have a car I can go out and buy some books or something but, uh. The credit card company, I paid my credit card bill off and they made some kind of a mistake, uh, and uh, didn’t pay themselves. And but they did send me a check back for twice as much. So my credit card wasn’t working so I had trouble renting a car, so I’m trapped in the doctor-is-kill hotel. And, some of you may have noticed, but last night I started getting too wacky, and I don’t know what it is about looking at pentagrams all the time. Everywhere I look there are pentagrams, pentagrams, pentagrams. I started counting them, one pentagram, two pentagrams, three pentagram, four. Five pentagram, six pentagram, six six six more. Well, they made a mistake, they shouldn’t do it, you know, the hallway I’m on Dom’s Stair, Dom’s used to me you know, you know, I mean, flame’s coming out the door and he won’t say anything other than, “Richard,” he said, “do you need more lighter fluid?” Uh, you know, cause I do things like, sometimes I build a kiln in my room. You know, and. You know, fire, make my own things, fire clay things in there, if I’m feeling like doing that. Some people think you can’t do that, but I’m a pretty good scientist, I can build pretty much anything out of anything. I built my own air conditioner the other night. EY! They weren’t gonna do it! Right, you know, it didn’t work for that long but it worked enough that I got my part of the hotel cooled off. Till they finally flew in the pump and managed to make a water fall between my room and Dom’s. So I got a note in my room which said the water’s gonna be turned off all last night. Right, from midnight till six in the morning, which is when I’m most alive. Uh, you know. It’s like. That’s when you know everybody else goes to bed, and the air waves are all mine. And I thought, well, no water. You know, cause I use water for things. Water is an important thing, you know. When you urinate, I like to flush the toilet. If you just pee in the hallway, I’m gonna be here for four more days, you know? You know, not to mention the things, I boil a lot of water in my work. You’re laughing, wait till tonight. So last night I had to create my own water supply. That was more challenging. And, I guess it was, I don’t know, my wife rolled out of bed and went in, went to the bathroom and took a little bath about three in the morning and got back in bed. She leaned over and she said, she says “I guess it’s not midnight yet. There’s, there’s water.” and I went “Right, guess it’s not midnight yet.” and turned the clock upside down.

Hey, plumbing is very easy to do. It only requires a wrench. Uh, you know, if they have water somewhere in the hotel, you should be able to have water everywhere in the hotel, don’t you think? It’s like I’m gonna go and make some of these elevators work. I also found out there’s another way out of this hotel. See last night, I’ve started, well it wasn’t there before but it is now. There was a door that was bolted closed, near where my room is. Right, and the nice thing about pad locks is that if you turn them sideways, hold them down at an angle like this, and tap them very


softly with a hammer, all the tumblers will fall to one side. See, helpful hints at every turn of the road. Next time you can’t find that fucking key to that padlock! Now, if it doesn’t open, it’s because you have a lock with the light end… down, you have to have the heavy end. That’s the parts with the wide end of the key. Right. You think about
it. Tumblers are in there, the more they dig away, the more you want it at top. So the thin part of the key has to be towards the earth. Or this doesn’t work very well. But I discovered if you tap it, and I opened it up. and there’s a stairway that you “diggedidadiggedida..:” and it goes right outside! Right… And guess what? From the outside, there is no lock to come in. So it’s OK if you break into the hotel, but it’s not OK if you break out. This is where the concept of the Roach Motel came from. And if you’ve
been on that street at night, you can understand why. I wanted to talk a little bit, this morning, I want you to try something, cause I’ve noticed, well… Some of you may have done too much reframing, whether or not you went to an NLP seminar, or not. It’s very common for people to have developed, over the years internal dialog which does not agree with them. Do you know what I’m talking about? If not, go inside and ask if there’s a part of you that does… Now, what I’m gonna suggest at first may not sound like a good idea, but the purpose for which I want you to do it is not the one that most people use it. It boils down to this, it’s that one of the things that happened is they brought me somebody and they, they said, that this person thought they were possessed. By the devil. Right, and I said, “Cooool”, I said, “Does he pay the bills too?”. And they said “No, this is not a laughing matter.” And they were wrong, again. Because the first thing they did is open the door and they brought in a priest. Well, of course, they told me they brought somebody who thought he was possessed. They bring in a guy dressed in a black dress, right, and they didn’t say they brought anybody else. Right, so I thought this was the person. I had no idea. that they had gotten their client out of some place where there were actually priests who did not believe in the devil. Think about that. What the fuck is going on in the church anyway? You know if you’re gonna be a lunatic, at least you should read your own rules. But no, these are modern priests, they told me “We are modern priests” and that this is one of their partitioners, whatever that means, and that this person had a psychological problem and believe they were possessed by the devil. Let me get this straight, okey, you brought one of your guys and they said, “Well, we’re psychological, we do ecumenical counseling.” And I said, “What the fuck is that? Oh that means, you do Freudian psychotherapy with the dress on?” Ahh haaa, that raises some fucking sicko issues doesn’t it? Right, cause, you know, what Freud said about, you know, he didn’t approve about homosexuality, but he seemed to know a lot about it. But then, there was a little man inside of him that wanted to fuck anything as far as I could tell. He believed you had an Ego but then you had an Id and it was horny. Right, it was, at all moments in time, peeing out from behind your eyes going “Ahh ahhh ahhh ahh ahh ahh, Oh man, there’s Mom, let’s fuck her right now!” What a sick fuck this guy was. Analyzing the dreams of adult and having the to remember dreams they had when they were babies, where they wanted to fuck their mother. This is HIS dreams, by the way. Freud’s! Right, now even if you had dreams like that, I wouldn’t be telling people about it, for heaven’s sakes.

I mean this guy was… and of course, he took so much cocaine, and that’s really a good way, by the way, to get levelheaded. Take a drug that makes you go “Hmmmmm (uppåt)… rrnnnggg (nedåt)… ngngngnng” So you wanna take more “rnnnggg (uppåt)… ngrrrr (nedåt)” and of course, they didn’t fuck around in those days, they didn’t snort it, they shot it. Cause after all, it worked faster. Right AND they would stay up for days and days at a time and find themselves like many people you will today standing next to a window with the crack slightly open going “…” And I always like to walk up behind them and go “Is something wrong?” And they go “No no, I don’t think so.” And I go “Cool. So what’s not out there?” Then I like to sneak out the door and throw pebbles at the window. Either that, or as soon as they turn around and look at me Look at the window like this and they go “What?” “Nothing” and when you turn around you go “double it double it double it” and they go “What?” and “No, I just the feeling, wooo wooo” You see, to me, any drug you have to take again that soon isn’t worth it, that’s like coffee, I hate coffee. —- people that go, “Uh man, here’s a Starbucks around here man?” So bad, I can’t believe it. They build 350 Starbuck’s last year, that’s more than one per day. Right, and these people in line going throw withdrawal waiting for their Latte blablablabla their fix of caffeine, you can get a coffee for a dollar you know. You don’t have to pay five bucks for a cup of coffee. Excuse me! Go out and get some freezesnide(?) stuff and just snort it.

But the trouble with caffeine “Rrrrrrr rrrr rr” is you go back right down. Up, right back down. Only the thing is, you have two nervous systems, the sympathetic and the parasympathetic, well, not THAT sympathetic, but, depends on what you put in it. Now, when you do something which make you go adrenaline, “Rgnnnnngh…(upp)” then you body secretes something to make you relax. “Rrgggg…(ned)” goes the other way, so you need more coffee “Rrrgggh…(upp)” Right, so after a while, people can drink 5 6 cups of coffee, and look you straight in the eye and go “Yeah, I don’t feel anything. Uh, except like I need more. That’s OK, I drink too much coffee, I’ll have a coke instead.” Which has twice as much caffeine. Now as far as drugs go caffeine’s OK, but it’s not really that great, because as soon as you get it going in your body, your body tells you to give you something to calm you down. Which makes you want more. Cocaine is even more that way. Crack, the new designer drug…. I like this drug, you don’t have to wait to be addicted, you take it and you ARE addicted. It’s designed that way. What is does, is that is makes it so that not only do you start to respond, right, with an intense response, it secretes a fluid into your muscles that as you start to come down, goes into your blood stream, and makes you feel horrible until you take more crack. When you take the crack, it doesn’t even make you feel good. You have to have it to not feel bad. And the more you take it to not feel bad, the more it gets into your muscles and builds up till the point where freebasers and crack people will start to have it oozing out of their skin, have open sores, there’s so much of it in there.

I find that the easiest way to deal with them, by the way, if you work with these people, you take them and put them on dialysis for a week. It’s not the most pleasant thing, but I tell you it is a lot more pleasant than withdrawal. We’ve tried it with all kinds of stuff, schizophrenia for example. You know, I’ve said it’s a bad set of chemicals? We took some FLAMING schizophrenics, we’re talking manheaver frenics, the kind that are rolling around, being whipped with bob wire, screaming at the top of their lungs, you know, uh, I mean having to be strapped down, you know, and stuff, and to me, I always find that if you strap the shrinks down, and let the schizophrenics run wild, it works better. But, we tried an experiment, because, you know, I believe very strongly that a major part of this is that you’re mixing bad chemicals. And that all hallucinating, including the presidents and congress, can be cured if we clean their blood supply up. Because, you know it’s not just that you get angry, then you have to make all those chemicals. They are still washing through your system. And then it creates a parasympathetic response, that’s why people get mad, and then they have a kind of depressed about being mad, and then they get angry about feeling bad about feeling angry. And they go back and forth. Right, and people come up now and say “I’m bipolar” and I go “So is the Earth, congratulations.”

But you put them on dialysis, you know, and 3 or 4 hours later Pffft, they’re fine. Right, clean their bloods path and it will last a day or two, and then they go back and make the same bad chemicals. So you once again have to do the thing we have to teach them to unconsciously do new things. Well, I saw Milton do this weird thing one time, cause Milton was a strange guy. I don’t care what anybody… We did not get along, Milton and I, people say “How were you able to write the book about him so fast?” and it’s easy because I didn’t like’em. I liked the effect that he could get, but I didn’t like the way he treated other human beings. And he was just a pain in the ass. So am I. So you have the two of us together. It’s just unnecessary. And he was not real fond of me either, I have to admit, he kept constantly telling me how “Gregory Bateson sent two young men down… one of them was an asshole”. I said, “Thank you very much, Milton, and one of us is in a wheel chair, and the other isn’t. And one of us has the ability to take the other’s wheelchair and push it in the highway, ahahaha.” Right outside the door there too.


By the way, did I show you the trick I did with the ball PEEN hammer? And he had a big No Smoking sign in there and I said “Ah, so you don’t want me light anybody’s  yjamas on fire then?” Milton went, he said “Some years ago Gregory Bateson sent two young men to me…” He hit the intercom “RRRR” “Betty? Betty, come in here!” But Betty never came when I was there. Cause Richard had a screw driver. When I’d come there, I go inside, and I’d take the wires off the intercom. I found that, and I’d say “Betty” I go you know “Milton and I are, he’s probably gonna” She said “He’s always making me come in and get things ” because you know, he believed in free will… this much. First day John and I were there, uh, he said “Do you know much about the personality?” and I said “No” I said “We don’t do phychology” I said “We are not psychologists, we don’t believe in that kind of stuff.” And he looked at me like …. Hit the intercom “RRRR” “Betty, come in here.” and Betty came in went “What is it Milton?” he said “THE RING!” and she went “Oh no, not that Milton anything” “THE RING” And she totally changed, she went WOOO it’s like watching one of those wolf man movies, right, only the other way. She was this nice sweet old lady and suddenly she turned in to this Femme Fatal… Slut Monger from hell. Right and she went “You look like two nice young men… You know, some years ago Gregory Bateson sent to young men from California. One was a great fuck.” But you know, uh, her personality had totally changed, because she’d been a multiple personality, and and and, in the hospital, that’s how Milton met her. And he liked it so he just kept them, he just wanted to be the one just change the personalities. I find this is like being a little bit too controlling as a therapist, personally. First I don’t think you should marry your clients, right, me, I don’t DATE neurolingistic programmers, in fact, I try not to EAT with them. Well, they talk funny, they’re almost as bad as therapists who do things like “Well, you know, uh, I really have to tell you how I feel about who you do, well you know” There’s a way to stop you and I usually have a roll of duct tape with me, that works pretty good. And neurolinguistic programmers go, they go “Oh, yes, he was a moving away from visual.”

Sure he was. Mmmm hummm.
The purpose of learning languages which codify our things is to organize our thoughts, not to get us to babble like idiots. Right? When I talk to my clients, I talk to them like human beings who meet each other in a taxi cab and speak like normal people. Not like somebody who is like learning something where the clients has to learn the language. The client has to learn the language, we don’t call that pacing. Not that I approve of pacing in the first place, I think there’s far too much of it going on, and this rapport thing. EXCUSE ME! Okay, I made this stuff up, all right? And there’s whole books on rapport. It said in one line in my book “If you NEED trust.” Now that’s a question. I don’t think you do with clients most of the time, because it’s not that they need to trust you, they need to trust themselves, not you. And the problem is they can’t trust themselves cause they don’t operate in their own best interest. Now, how is that possible? That’s cause there’s so many automated programs at the unconscious and NOBODY gives you the instruction manual. They don’t tell you how to stop bad memories from bothering you by running them backwards. Because if you run them backwards, it flattens out the neurons. Neurons always go to the one next in size. That’s what a neurocortical pathway is. You build’em by dreaming, you start with millions of them as children, and as you get older, it should increase in number, not decrease. As psychology has proven in their sleep experiments, where they wake everybody up all the time. Do you know, oh, it’s interesting, in the research, cause I’ve read all this research over the years, I consider it to be much better than comic books. Uh, that you get the same result from sleep studies done by psychologists as you do from extended use of cocaine. And I mean extended use, not over your life, over, you know, you start taking it, and you stay awake for six seven days, they have exactly, when people do it, it gets to the point where they all have the same hallucination. Right, little green men, crawling over their body.
Right, and, if you leave people in sleep experiments for psychologies, after a while, they get the same hallucination. Which means, if you deprive people of sleep enough, they begin to get little green crawly things all over their body and, it’s screaming and weird. And I know I feel that way sometimes. That is, small green and crawly.


But, with Milton being an odd sort of a guy, there was a person there and uh, they were a professional. Excuse me, they weren’t a person, they were a doctor. That’s what he said, I said, “Ah, you look like a nice person” he said “No no, I’m not a person, I’m a doctor.” I started laughing, and he said “I don’t see anything funny in that.” and I said “I understand, you’re not allowed to, you’re a doctor, but I’m a person, I can still enjoy life.” He goes “Are you a member of the American Society of Clinical Hypnosis?” I said “No, I’m not qualified” I said “I can teach courses for you guys, I can write books for you, I can do all that kind of stuff, but, I’m not a doctor, I’m not a dentist, I’m not a psychologist, so therefore I can’t join your club.” and I said “I have to tell you how broken hearted I am about that. It means all I can do is take money from you. I don’t have to put up with any of your nonsense.” And I understand that when Milton formed his organization, that he was trying to make hypnosis acceptable. At the time, you would loose your medical license if you did hypnosis. I mean, twice they tried to take Milton’s license away from him. I even met one of the people who was on his board from the 2nd time. I was in an airplane and I was looking at uh, the new copy of uh, Patterns when they had come out. They came out in paper back and they sent me one and I was looking at it. I was sitting on an airplane and this guy goes “Is that that guy from Arizona? The hypnotist?” and I said “Yeah”. He said “I met that man one time” he said “You know, uh, I’m on the California and the American Board of Certified Neurologists” or something, I don’t know, Medical something or other. Basically what it meant, they called him up in front of this board and said “Look, you know, one of our rules says that Hypnosis doesn’t exist and it’s only used by charlatans and you’re promoting the use of hypnosis.” “Right and so, we were gonna take his medical license away unless he could show us just cause why you should be able to recommend that people use techniques that were only used by charlatans.” And then I said, well, I’d be really interested in knowing what happend at that meeting. And the guy went… He says “Well, I don’t remember much about it, actually. But he seemed like a nice old guy and he seemed to have some kind of a point.” You see my point? Hey, whenever you want yes’s… cause I don’t think you should answer questions… unless you’re asking them by knowing the answers. I mean I ask clients question, I ask questions, but I already know the answers. I want them to go through something internally, I wouldn’t ask questions unless I knew the answers. It would be silly. Unless I try to find something out, about how to do something new. But when they wanna do something old, or actually, they don’t know what they wanna do, they come in and wanna do something they, typically is idiotic, they go “Yeah, I wanna not be afraid.” Okey, “CRRRH”… Solved that problem! NEXT!

That’s not what they want. What they want is to be able to do something different because the thing is is when these people are looking for control, are always the once that are out of control. They go in and they go “I cannot be hypnotized, I cannot seem to let go, I am too much of a controlling person.” And I go “Yes, but your controlling is completely out of control. Cause you can’t stop doing it, so therefore you have no control over it, oh God, you’re spinning now as I look at you. Oh my God! And the question is, who’s doing this? Cause if it’s not you doing it, who is it?”… It’s him, isn’t it?… Sanders sanders, what do you think? And you can feel it too, isn’t it, it’s so odd…

Where’s your name tag?… Hidden… Michael, just like the archangel that knocked up the Virgin, huh?

Hmmm, hummm…
He was, he was, he was uh, by the way if you read the book, God’s number one strong armed man, you know, and surrogate lover. They were such nice guys, boy when you read that book you see, having read it you know in the ancient Hebrew, it’s even more fun and nastier. Well, I tell you those hebrews, they can write some dirty fucking books, let me tell ya. I mean, you don’t turn more than four or five pages and somebody’d fucking somebody, let me tell ya. Right. And, you know, and it’s like you know, I like that Genesis 2, OOoooh, bestiality boy, right, you know, cause Genesis 1 first God creates you know Adam and Eve, and you know, well, actually he creates Adam and Lillith.


Cause you know, Adam’s… Eve is Adam’s second wife. You guys know that? Okey, some of you do, you’ve heard this, so you understand, you know, some of you… and they did a little editing in your bibles, uh, but, anyway, Lillith didn’t like this thing with Adam, she thought he was a creep, right, he always wanted to be on top and she wanted to be on top, you know, you know, and, so she split. She said “Fuck you, I’m out of here, boy.” And took off, you know. And she went off and started doing her own thing, and uh, so, well, Adam was kind of depressed and went “Well, now what do I do?” The sand(?) went “How about me?” and he said “OK, you go after her.” So he went back to God, he said, he goes, “God, You know, that woman I was with?” he said, “She’s gone.” God said “I gave you a perfectly good woman and she was a great woman.” he said “So what do you want?”. He goes “Can I have another one?” God said, “Well, we’ll make this one a little differently”. He says “Adam, what’s that on your chest there?” and he went “Huh? Like this?” and he reached down and went “Huuuu, Trrrrk” and ripped out one of his fucking ribs, right? And he made the woman out of it, now, I tell ya, if somebody ripped out one of my ribs, I’d be real careful what I did with this woman. Right, because the next bone down, I wanna keep. Now, in Genesis 2 by the way, I like this, the story is totally different, because what they did is he made Adam, right, and then Adam went “I’m lonely…” And God “Well, what you need is something to fuck.” They use the term Help Bate, but that’s what that means BTW, in case some of you “Oh, I read that for years, I wondered what that Help Mate was.” That means fuck. Course, you know, fuck is a dirty word and Help Mate isn’t. Uh.. You know, and catholic, it’s okey to lick cats, but fuck, no, that’s a dirty word. When you’re on the radio, I’m always told when you go on the radio they gave me a piece of paper and they said “We heard you, that, you know, that you use some fowl language” and I went “Duck.” They didn’t laugh, didn’t get it, you know, it’s OK. “It’s all right with me”

I answered, “I understand, you use fowl language” I went “Quack quackquackquack quack”… and they handed me a piece of paper and it said on it “Do not say Fuck, Damn,…” and there were two others, I don’t remember what they were but there were only four, that according to uh, the FCA Radio Broadcasting. Those word are dirty, the others aren’t. Oh damn, yeah “Damn” was so fun because I kept going “DAM, down in Arizona, blocking a lot of water” because then you can use damn, it’s only if it’s the other damn, then it’s a dirty word. Right. And, oh, “Mother fucker” yeah, you’re not allowed to say “Mother Fucker” right and except there’s, you guy’s been to Europe? Uh, there’s a company that makes air planes, and.. You guys, do you know what I’m about to talk about? This is great, I mean, Ireland, I get on, and it says “Well, we’ll like to, well, welcome you to, you know, AirLines and we will be taking, uh, you know, uh, this short flight over to, you know, Copenhagen, you will be flying” and what is it, is it, it’s a something fucker? It is, I guess it’s a different thing in Copenhagen you know, they say everything is fucking everything in Copenhagen, and it it, it’s uh… it’s a Fucker 50, that’s what it is. Unless you are on the big one, that’s a Fucker 100. And everybody on the plane laughs like that “Ah ah ah ah” and the stewardess goes “Hhh hhh hhh”. Cause you know, five times a day since it’s a commute-her flight. “Welcome, we’d like welcome you to our flight on the Fucker 50.” Which just happens to hold 50 seats. And uh, so I guess that there are 50 businessmen looking at the stewardess and they go “Well, welcome, Fucker 50.” Right, I suppose it’s a better job than Fucker 100, but somebody’s gotta do it, you know? Free asshole jupes?


Anyway, uh. Let me get back to the Bible. You don’t want to get me off on Copenhagen, but, I really think you know, but, I wonder if you know, if we fly a Fucker 50 into the US, does that mean the pilot’s not allowed to talk over the intercom? To the tower? He goes “OK, Tower, this is flight 127, a Fucker 50” “RRR I’m sorry you can’t say that on the airways. Could you just stay there silently till you fall out of the sky?” But anyway, course, I can’t help myself, I’m a polarity responder, I’m there, I have the radio thing and I look down and I said “So I can’t say fuck her, right?” And he looks at me and goes “No no, you can’t say” and he said “fuck her” himself, right, he went, he goes “No, we can’t say the F-word” and I say “Oh, but if we spell it with an PH, can we say it?” Well I went down and pohucked her, you know. Hahaha… And actually, in vietnamese, you know, when they came over, they have certain kinds of things, and to them they pronounce things a little different, and they bought the old Kentucky Fried Chicken place, on
Deary Street, and they converted it into a Thai chicken place called Fuckit Chicken. Well, they went out of business in like 3 or 4 weeks, and they didn’t know why. But, then it became a KFC place again which is. I mean, I’ve never seen chicken that small you know. I always wondered about that until I looked up on that bucket up there and saw all the pigeons… Big pigeon, bucket in sky…. Hmmm humm. You guy do know about my cure for uh, a lot of people have phobias of pigeons? It’s a very common phobia, can’t phobia of pigeons, oh. But I was at this place and when I went into the conference uh, there were one of these things, you go into three hour dog and pony show and they go “So what exactly is neurolingustic programming?” and you do a handshake interrupt on the monirator, give him a phobia of having clothes on, hahaha, and then demonstrate, you go “Away with you to Esselon, asshole.” You think I don’t do stuff like this, don’t you? Well, I don’t any more, but I used to, I have to admit. It’s cause I used to meet these people and they look me square in the eye and say they got to be stupid just cause they had degrees. Right, and, and, I’m a fifth degree, so I figured I could too. They go “Look, I have two doctorates!” and I said “Well, me” I said “I have a 5th degree in a japanese martial art and in the chinese martial art we didn’t have any stinking belts, we just had clubs.” And they go “Clubs?” and I go “Well, I tell you, this might hit you the wrong way but ahahahah, afterwards, you know, you’ll be a star in my eyes.”
Oh no, not star, we don’t called them stars any more, we call them pentaspots. That’s why we call them pentagram, you know gram, and then it leads to a pound and a kilo, the next thing you know you’re hooked and you’re a, well an occult dealer, I see shops over there and I, and they go “Witch supply shop”. You go in and actually sell ironed newtons stuff, isn’t that cool? And then you look at congress right, and the head of the, you know, for a long time, you know, was a guy Newt Gingrich, how can you get elected to a name like that? It’s like, don’t these people like change their name? There’s a guy in Senate from Montana, he’s first name is Butt… Right, they go “Oh yeah, who can we elect to go to the Senate to represent us? Well, how about the guy whose name is Butt? We want Butt in congress.” And I go “OK, cause we got Dick in the White House.”
Hey, you know what? It seems like all the last presidents have been fucking themselves hasn’t it? One way or another. I mean… But then you think about… what’s so bad? So, you know, Clinton got a little pussy, big deal, you know? You know, I mean, Bush traded arms for hostages, and I think that’s a pretty good deal. You know, I mean, so what, so he swapped a little cocaine for some rifles, you know, and he got those poor hostages back. You know, and then, you know, I mean, so what do these other people do?
Well, think about it. Johnson sent half a millon american men to a foreign country, and got 100s of 1000s of people killed, for his ego. He’s from this state. Right, and he also killed that little catholic boy that tried to be president too, didn’t he? Oh no, that was the maffia. Well, is there a difference between those things? Texans go “Johnson
didn’t do that. What would be his motivation?” Gee he spents year in congress and he believed it was his turn to step forward and run to be president, and some little catholic boy figured out that for the first time in the history in the United States, there was enough primaries that you could prevent anybody from being president because there wouldn’t be enough electrical collage votes that you could get in the back rooms and getting carcasses(?!) Very for some he goes, you go and you negociate these things they have little carcasses, but they had all these little primaries, cause you know they like to go and stand on stage and talk to people. But, suddenly this little catholic boy went, and there they were on the convention and Johnson figured out he was not gonna get the nomination, there was no way.


So he had to be vice president to this little boy. Right? Well, that wouldn’t be motivation to wanna have somebody knocked off in a random place like Dallas, would it? Oh, I’m sorry, I’ve been reading conspriracy theory. But don’t think about it, there’s no reason to be paranoid. “Duh duh duuu duhd uh”. After all, you know you can worry about anything. You can think, “what problem am I not having”? You know, I talked like this the first day, you guys were not giggling. You were starting to make a list “Dum du dummm duu duu duum” Say now, the reason I don’t teach a lot of techniques on the first days, I’m a afraid you might USE THEM. And then you’d end up with a really big list of really great problems. You start to think things like “Ahh, well you know, you have to accept your limitations.” Think about that fucking phrase “you have to learn to accept your limitations” No you don’t. You have to learn to have amnesia for them. How do you get rid of really big difficulties? What? Were they? Not now. Doesn’t matter anyway. Just forget about it.

Transcription by Dr. Nelper

Нет комментариев